I apologise for not posting sooner, but I've been kinda drawn in to a whirlwind event which requires a fair bit of energy on my part, and has left my will to write a bit deprived. I shall tell all about these events soon I hope, I'm just waiting for the last details to slot in to place, but gee-whiz, it's gonna be a whopper!
Where have I been? Well. First off, a shout out to one of my friends who let me stay with her in LONDON! Oh you beautiful city, filled with things and stuff. I was there about mid-June and I learned a valuable lesson: You only get what you pay for. "Why Miss Sophie, whatever do you mean?". Well, gentle reader, I'll tell you. The Megabus happened to me.
Now, I'm not a girl with stockpiles of cash, so when a transport company tells me I can get a return trip from Glasgow to London for less than £15, who am I to say no to that? I thought I'd be real clever, jump down on the nightbus on a Friday night, pack in the action on Saturday and Sunday and pop back on Sunday night fighting fit for Monday. Unless you are a very short, nimble type of person who can sit down for great lengths of time, don't repeat my mistake! I am clearly not as energetic as I used to be. On the trip down I was lucky and caught a window seat, success! But more and more and more people packed on this cursed vehicle, and it got hot and smelly in a jiffy. Someone brought a baby on with them, need I say more? Never mind, London was awesome, I saw a comedy show about happiness (learned a lot, I did!), bought roasted almonds, saw Piccadilly Circus (STILL disappointed it's not a real Circus, bloody Romans) and visisted Scandinavian Kitchen, a haven for a homesick Scandi if ever there was one. Fun times were had, unfortunately I forgot my phone on both days and am thus sans photos, but we had a good time with very little rain. Thanks again to my friend for letting me crash in her room, it was FABULOUS! The trip back was less successful. Here I, despite being at the bus station rather early, was too late to score a window seat and got an aisle seat instead, next to an actor/director man (for true, he has an IMDB page) who was a light sleeper and so utilized meditation music to get more out of the little sleep he did get. I just couldn't get comfortable at all. My legs twinged, my hips ached, and I felt bad for shuffling around in case I woke actor/director man! Ah well. Lesson learned: Spend £50 more for plane tickets next time, they're not exactly expensive either.
Next stop: Copenhagen! Lured by BMI Regional's delightful price offer, I bagged a trip across to one of my homelands. It had been two years since my previous visit, so some catching up was essential. Again, many thanks to family and friends who provided accommodation, company and food ^.^ I had a marvellous time, and my trip ended with a wee trip to Tivoli, an amusement park right smack in the middle of town. If you ever visit Copenhagen, go there, I've always loved it!
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| Not a recent photo I'm afraid, but it still looks the same! |
In Tivoli they have something called the Tivoli Guard, a marching band really, who march around and the procession ends with Harlequin, Columbine and Pierrot. The latter three are characters in pantomime shows (slightly different from UK pantos, as no one shouts at the stage as far as I'm aware, hehe), which play several times a day inside.
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| Pierrot marching along at the end |
Needless to say it's been a good summer; when I came home to Glasgow that was the beginning of all that lovely hot weather, which I think we were all glad of. Nothing like some Vitamin D to boost all the happy feelings!
Today has been a bit of a lazy day, and I decided to take a walk down memory lane and look at all my photos. It made me realise that I actually feel LESS confident now, at the tender age of 27, than I did in my late teens. Naturally, I feel slightly cheated by this, I thought I was meant to gain more confidence in time, find myself, be myself, blah blah blah. Sure, back in high school I made questionable choices, particularly where hair, make up and skin care were concerned, but that didn't matter. I made myself be more confident than I sometimes felt, and anyone who had a problem with me either didn't speak to me anyway (so no loss there), or they were busy taking the piss out of someone else who didn't have my sassy backtalk skills.
Now... Now I just feel.. meh. I worry about if I look fat in something. Which is a completely pointless question, by the way, because I am overweight so I'm going to look it in anything I wear. I worry that some teenager (and their pack of friends) is going to yell at me because I'm wearing something they don't like. I get fed up with judgemental looks if I'm wearing anything too... "something" [insert: gothy, preppy, shabby, corporate, whatever]. I didn't sign up for that. And it's not even always about appearance. I actually have to tell myself on a daily basis that life is not a race. There's no prize at the end of this show. I am not unemployable or unskilled because I don't have a degree (even though a lot of employers would probably like to think so). I have to remind myself that even though life led me down a different path than I thought it would, I've managed to get to a good place now. I struggle a lot with anger at myself for some decisions I've made in the past, I struggle with envy and jealousy against those who have what I think I want, which then makes me feel guilty because it's totally unfair on those people. I don't like feeling that way. I want to be confident enough that the successes or downturns in another's life don't affect how I view my own achievements. I want to be confident enough so that in my personal time I can wear what I want and how I want it, without worrying about what others may have to say about it. So there's some work to be done! Let it begin!
