The Pitfalls of Flat-Hunting

This post isn't as thoughtful and cerebral as I'd like, but I had to share my recent experience!

Flat hunting can be an interesting process. I suppose there are some usual pitfalls, like someone got there before you and the flat is gone before you even viewed it. Or maybe the reality didn’t really match the promises made by the pictures and the description. 

What happened today was a new one on me. Let me tell you a story, dearest readers!

We arrived to The Flat a bit early. I noted some rust on the gate, and how maybe that particular front door wouldn’t be my first choice as a property-owner. The agent arrived on time and opens the doors and finds an activated alarm for which he doesn’t have a de-activation code. “Go on in” he says, looking for his phone for a quick call to the landlord. During the blaring alarm Significant Man Person (SMP) and I have a quick wander, trying to ignore the smell of old person’s flat. Old person’s decor is less easy to escape, but it wasn’t a deal breaker by any means. The kitchen was small-ish, and had an under-the-counter fridge. This is advertised as a two bedroomed property, and I am of the opinion that a halfling fridge is inappropriate in a rental flat for two people. I start to feel not impressed. There’s a room just off the kitchen. At first I think “Ooh, second living room!” but then a dread feeling rises. This is the main bedroom. There are only two other rooms left unseen, the bathroom and the “second” bedroom. While this is an odd layout, I wouldn’t have been overly bothered if it hadn’t been for the fact that SMP and I would have to walk THROUGH the bedroom to get to the kitchen. There is no other access to the kitchen than this supposed “bedroom”. I’ve heard of en-suite bathrooms, but an en-suite kitchen is a bit too much, even for a food-lover like me. 

Okay, so it wasn’t a great flat, I can live with that, but what happened next turned me off completely. Back in the living room the “Property Manager” starts rattling on about how this is gonna go really quickly and they only have 20 properties to let our because, wow, it’s going so fast, you have to get in there, if you like it you can secure it with £250, bla bla bla. Two voices resonate in my head, simultaneously. The first one is The Voice of Arrogance, querying in a sarcastic tone “Is this actually happening?” (usually indicated by me raising my right eyebrow). The second is The Voice of Attitude, and this one is going “Bitch, please” (and is usually accompanied by a raised left eyebrow). Mr Property Manager is trying to stress me in to giving him my hard-earned money! I would like to point out that the property has been listed since the 2nd of February. Oh yeah, Mr Hot Shot, it’s right FLYING off the rack, this ‘un. Please, don’t insult me. I’ve been to more viewings that you’ve had girlfriends, your spiel isn’t going to work on me, especially not since they’re asking £695 a month for it. He asks what else SMP and I are looking for. I advise that we’re looking for 2 bedrooms, unfurnished, around this price range. He offers to show us another flat around the corner, and we agree. Again the spiel begins. “Actually”, he tells us, “there’s a girl flying in from Ireland with the money on Monday, but I told her it’s first come first served, bla bla bla”. He shows us in. It’s a nice flat, nice location, good sun, nice sized rooms, but again, the small fridge. Then it comes; it’s furnished. Hang on a minute, did you not hear me before, Mr Property Manager? And AGAIN with the rush “Yeah, this girl from Ireland, she’s coming in at 9 on Monday morning, but if you want it, just text me, or call me and I’ll meet you in town and get the £250 holding fee”. He even handed me his business card and said he’d call me later. Wow, desperate much?

This is the most appalling behaviour I’ve witnessed in a while. I am NOT forking out my cash for a property I don’t love, or at least like a LOT. And for the second one, come on dude, don’t be nasty! The property went up yesterday, Friday, and there’s someone coming to see it, ready to pay you cash-in-hand on the following Monday. That’s no less than excellent and you’re still trying to rent it ONE day earlier, seriously? You said so yourself that the flat wouldn’t be available to live in until early March, so what's the point?!

A landlord/letting agency duo are not doing me a favour by letting me live in a house, it’s a service that I pay quite dearly for. What happened today has put me off that letting agency entirely. I wish I had the backbone and sass to tell Mr Property Manager where he can stuff his hard sell!

On a more positive note, I have high hopes for another flat closer to town, their staff are lovely and un-pretentious on the phone!

This is really more a rant than a proper blog post, I shall write something less rage-filled in a few days! Thanks for reading and feel free to share tales of doom when viewing flats or houses for sale or rent! :)